Hellsing: Integra, little black dress

Jooster fanfic and other whatsits

Title: The Reason Why
Fandom: PG Wodehouse/Jeeves & Wooster
Pairings: None (though I am a proud Jooster shipper)
Summary: Bertie discovers just why his nightwear is the one article of clothing that Jeeves doesn't object to.


“Yes, sir?” The aforementioned valet raised an eyebrow as he helped Bertie into his dressing gown one morning.

“It has come to my attention that there has been a bit of a…” Trailing off in midsentence, Bertie straightened his robe and then went on. “There has been a bit of a whatsit in the household as of late, like when a chap says toodle pip a few times to see off his friends when he usually says what ho.”

“An inconsistency, sir?”

“That’s it; thank you, Jeeves. There has been, on your part, an inconsistency concerning what the Wooster whimsy fancies wearing.”

“I am puzzled as to what you mean by that, sir,” Jeeves replied with a deferential bafflement proper for the feudal spirit.

The young master gestured to his current dress. “Do you see what I’m wearing, Jeeves? Heliotrope pajamas, very colorful for sleeping in. Usually, old thing, with my best interest at heart, I’m sure, you turn up your nose at any of my clothing that’s colorful in the least. So, why do you let the young master wear them?”

“Sleepwear is generally supposed to be comfortable sir, regardless of color. These garments are made of flannel and suit the climate well. Your pairs made of silk perform the same function in the summer as well. If they are uncomfortable, sir, I will dispose of them and order new nightwear. Are you not satisfied with them, sir?”

“Oh, no, no, no, Jeeves!” Bertie hastily waved that thought off like an engagement and snuggled deeper into his bathrobe, flopping back down on the bed. “I am very satisfied with them, no need to worry. There is another reason, though, isn’t there, Jeeves?”

“Indeed, sir. Your pajamas have never sought or been in close contact with the other items in your wardrobe that have fought their way out of or evolved from the rag basket.” The valet cleared his throat genteelly. “Shall I run your bath, sir?”

“What?” A Bertie who had taken this revelation as well as Napoleon did Waterloo snapped to. “Oh. Yes, Jeeves.”

“Very good, sir,” he responded and left, hearing a dismayed “I say,” in his wake.
Hellsing: Integra, little black dress


Fandom: Vampire Chronicles
Characters: Pandora, OCs, Marius
Pairings: Marius/Pandora
Summary: In the midst of German-occupied Italy, Pandora repays a long-standing  debt and attempts to find solace with her charges and her maker.

Part I

“Though we have been affected greatly by the war, there is little a luxury that I cannot afford. Please enjoy yourselves to the best of your ability and make yourselves comfortable during your time spent with me. You may stay here as long as you wish.”

The family of five stood in awe of her as if she were Venus rising from the ocean foam; in any other circumstance, the reason for such shock would have been that she had exposed herself for what she was. It was understandable on their part, seeing as that Italy was a very dangerous place to be a Jew.

“Signora, we will be no trouble.” The woman bowed her head in an attempt to quell the tears of gratitude threatening to fall, wisps of blonde hair escaping from beneath her hat to fall over her patched and worn coat. “I don’t know how to thank you for saving my children from the German camps.”

“Think nothing of it.”

“Please look into safe passages for leaving the country, Signora Ferraris, for yours and ours’ sake.” Her husband, removing his hat and smoothing back his brown hair, held her gaze earnestly. “You are doing God’s work and we would not want to hinder you.”

She waved the praise away, smiling gently at the two girls and the boy who were eyeing the large atrium of the villa with awe and looking shyly at her, the youngest hiding behind her mother. “Think nothing of my kindness; I will start as soon as I am able. Now, you should wash yourselves and change into fresh clothes. The bathrooms are upstairs, two doors down from the left and there are closets with spare clothing across the hallway.  Have you eaten yet?”

Nodding, they politely excused themselves and left her to her own devices. Entering the parlor and reclining on one of the couches, she plucked a cigarette from its case on the table and lit it with a lighter, exhaling the smoke as she pondered her latest charges and the earlier decisions that had led her here.

Signora Ferraris was a prim, wealthy, patriot who never associated with her inferiors. Pandora was not. While never an official member of the Resistenza Partigiana, since the start of the war, she had anonymously donated to unofficial organizations that helped the resident Jewish population of Italy thwart the anti-Semitic legislation, stay safe, and flee the country. When Mussolini fell in nineteen forty-three, they joined the Allies, but the Germans had quickly invaded and started deporting any that they could get their hands on. The Arons originally came from Friuli, a region close to the Slovakian border; they were lucky to have managed to escape the fates that would have awaited them in the camps.

The children had warmed up well; she could hear them running through the closet and laughing with delight at the multitude of choices and the assorted finery stored there, the fear temporarily forgotten. Pandora closed her eyes and took another drag on her cigarette, thinking of her own, her first, escape and a young Hebrew with wavy brown hair who risked everything to help her safely out of Rome.

“Jacob,” she muses quietly aloud. “You should not worry. I pay my debts. I never forget.”

Hellsing: Integra, little black dress




Contrary to the expectations of many, the Hellsing Organization worked like a small town in the fact that everyone knew everything about everyone else except in the case of Alucard, not counting the few that were brave enough to ask and those stupid enough to do it in such a way that they left the next day and were never heard from again. This was fairly advantageous because it ensured that the soldiers kept out of trouble, the safety of the staff, and that nothing happened without Sir Hellsing’s permission, but rumor flew at the speed of a bush fire doused with heavy doses of hydrogen sulfide and pure oxygen.  

Surprisingly, one of the few to whom the gossip was horse elbows was Pip Bernadotte. As a rule, he spent more time on reviewing previous forays and preparing the best way to train for the next. This was currently requiring a broadening of his horizons and he spent most of his waking hours in the library, poring over vampire lore and mythology and sketching out their methods of hunting and plans to counter them in a notebook that he kept with him. Since the beginning of the month, attacks had increased dramatically, leaving the Wild Geese and both vampires to handle several infestations a week.

However, a successful captain knew what was going on around the barracks and surprisingly, he had found a source of information in Seras Victoria. Her timid and polite attitude had caused the staff and soldiers to deem her as safe, but out of deference to her master, they let her be. It was not often that Alucard involved himself with household affairs, but when he did, he interfered with a heavy hand so that he had no cause to repeat it and it was often remembered well and talked about for weeks until Walter put a stop to the horrified chatter. Currently, she was informing him why one of his men, Private Benjamin Wilkins, a doe-eyed virgin and the frequent butt of company jokes because of it, had recently gained more confidence.  So far in her story, they had found a kindred spirit in one another with both of them being inexperienced rookies.

“So, we were talking about books one night and he asked me a question about Dracula. It was why the horses died when Dracula’s brides danced around them, but were fine when Dracula brought Jonathan Harker to the castle. I didn’t know, so I asked Master that question the next night on his behalf.  He said that Stoker had been heavily influenced by the Irish folk tales that his mother told him and integrated them into the story and asked to meet Wilkins because he was impressed that someone had caught that.  I arranged it and they talked the entire night away in the library. I didn’t hear much of the conversation, only that Dracula was his late sister’s favorite, which explained why he was so familiar with it.”

“Then what happened?”

“Well, some of the men hung Wilkins up as a joke because they said he would be good bait for the vampire a few nights ago. Master showed up a few minutes later and once he had their attention, asked them why they were holding a double standard and thought that only straight people who weren’t rapists could become vampires. They panicked and immediately untied Wilkins and then he told them, ‘Gentlemen, it is said that the two things certain in life are death and taxes and I am assured that I could do more harm to you than your taxes ever could.’ Since then, they’ve left him alone because he’s now been designated as the vampire’s favorite.” She paused and added, “Well, that’s what Master told me.”

“And God help the poor bastard who crosses your master.” Pip leaned back in the chair, cigarette dangling from his mouth as he thought. “It’s good of you to notice things; I’ve been noticing things, too.”

“Like what?”

“Well, for instance, you’re keeping less of a distance now, but it’s still a pretty big distance.”

She blushed and crossed her legs. “We may fight often on the range and field, but this isn’t about you.”

“So, it’s not because I grabbed your ass by accident when I mean to reach for my ammo?”


“Or the Eskimo song?”


“And definitely not when I—“

“You’re not doing yourself any favors by going on,” she said a bit snappishly. “I told you that it has nothing to do with you or your men; do you really feel the need to pry into my personal business?”

“Girlie, I’m the one who works with you the most and it’s a pain in the ass if I don’t know why one of my soldiers is acting strange.”

“I’m not one of your soldiers! I’m…” She stopped and dug her gloved fingers into her palms.

“A vampire?” He laughed halfheartedly. “I thought we’d already figured that.”

“Yes, but…” Seras realized that to say that he didn’t know what it was like would be useless because the difficulty was implied. As it was, she could barely keep a handle on herself. It had now been a month since she refused to drink blood and more side affects seemed to crop up every day.  When she had despaired aloud on one occasion and asked her master, he raised an eyebrow at her and speaking slowly and simply as if it was a child that he addressed, replied “You know as well as I do why, police girl.”

Mignonette,” Pip entreated, moving to bridge the gap between them. She could see the vein pulsing under his skin and his heartbeat grew in sound by the second.  Steeling herself and pushing her chair back, she stood.  Her legs quivered, despite the fact that the sun would not rise for another four hours and she drew back. “Captain, please keep yourself on that side of the table. I have to leave right now.”

She left without looking back, eyes fixed determinedly ahead.  Behind her, the captain sighed heavily as he watched her depart. He knew that it was a vampire thing, but he felt awful. Not even the sight of her derriere could console him. He had no doubt that they would be hearing about this tomorrow, but at the moment, he couldn’t have cared less. What he needed was a drink and a smoke and neither would get themselves.  He got up, pushing the chairs back in before he absconded in the opposite direction.



A/N: Private Benjamin Wilkins belongs to the user LadyTerragon on Deviantart; she merely let me borrow him. For Hellsing, I always assumed that the disclaimer was implied.



Hellsing: Integra, little black dress

Magnifying Glass

Magnifying Glass


From Case File #1187236, Ipswich Home for Children, 223 South James Blvd—

                “Seras Victoria is a bright and cheerful child. However, she has a strong sense of justice and has dealt it out rather violently in the past. When a boy stole a toy that she was playing with, she beat him over the head with a rock severely and refused to apologize when taken before the headmaster. Her father, Michael, was the police chief of the town in which they lived; this may be the root cause of that behavior.  Victoria also easily forms an attachment to strong, maternal female figures, such as the current nurse, who has patched her up time and again. However, she refuses to let them leave her, especially if they are in the company of men. She will resort to physical violence in order to do so. The probable cause of this was her mother’s murder and violation of the corpse. Victoria suffers from claustrophobia because her mother hid her in the closet before the incident and may have undergone additional trauma from the injuries sustained when she stabbed her mother’s rapist in the eye with a fork.”

From Case File #1273122, L’École du Saint-Mathieu, 203 la Rue Chevalier—

                “Philippe Bernadotte, or Pip, as he is called, is nothing but trouble. He acts out in class frequently, much to the delight of his classmates. Though his grandmother is a devout Catholic, his grandfather has no guilt for his sins and blasphemes freely. This appears to be where his grandson developed the habit, along with smoking. Sister Marie-Thérèse has caught him numerous times outside and in the men’s toilets. Oddly enough, despite his abominable behavior toward the sisters, he is a favorite among the children. Bernadotte rarely has an unkind word to say to any, except when defending others. His intelligence is slightly above average and Monsieur Lebinet tells us that his metalworking skills are nothing short of excellent. However, he never applies himself except in that class. He also exhibits questionable values, telling Père Lachaîne that a bit of money was all that a man’s life was worth in confession.”

“Well, this is most enlightening.” Integra Hellsing leaned back in her chair, turning her head to the left to regard her servant. “The observations on Seras Victoria’s part were of particular interest. Was she ever diagnosed?”

“Yes, but I felt that it should be disregarded. Not long after that report was filed, the psychiatrist was accused of unethical treatment towards his patients. The accusation went to trial and after conviction, he was imprisoned. What you read was the thoughts of another psychiatrist who examined her shortly after the first was found guilty. They concurred on their observations, but not the diagnosis. Other than these observations, Seras Victoria’s psychological profile at the time of her death was normal.”

“Indeed.” She raised an eyebrow. “I was a little surprised at the smoking, though.”

“These were taken at two different times. The captain’s was at age thirteen and the police girl’s was when she was nine years old.”

“They’ve become uncommonly close over the past week; something is at work here.”

“I was hoping you wouldn’t say Freud.”

 “No, not after you and Walter spent the entire Christmas break after my first term at Oxford arguing me out of it.”

“We were talking to your coursework the entire time, not you. What a strange lot professors are, filling your head with that frigid Victorian nonsense!”Alucard shook his head. “Even the worst fool in my time knew that women were not made of stone; we thought that they had to orgasm during sex to conceive.”

“Rather primitive notion on your part.”

“Ah, but it wasn’t. There was a study.” At this point, Alucard’s expression had gone from incredulous amusement to that of which caused the fall of most female saints and several of the males. “It found that primitive notion, as you call it, correct, not to mention mutually beneficial.”

“Kindly keep the benefits to yourself. We’re getting off topic about the subject here.” Integra sighed and examined the papers again. “It was corruption in the police force that caused the deaths of her parents and corruption that caused hers ten years later. The evidence would seem to suggest a correlation. How long has the current commissioner been in charge?”

“Twenty years, but we shouldn’t jump to conclusions. Their behavior concerning the incidents wasn’t exactly heroic, but it could have been merely incompetence on their part. Nonetheless, Walter and I will look into it farther if you wish.”

“If you would, I’d appreciate it very much. Also, a cigar, please, if you don’t mind.”

“Certainly, Master. Now, would this be just a cigar or a phallic symbol?” Alucard dodged the pen thrown at him. “All right, I can take a hint.”

Hellsing: Integra, little black dress

(no subject)

Library Archives

He could not get over how much it bothered him. Though Pip Bernadotte had worked for a fair amount of out of the ordinary bosses, ranging from a deranged Somalian warlord to a reserved, polished oil tycoon in Honduras, he had never had a woman quite like this for a boss. If he said that he wasn’t intimidated at all by Sir Integral Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing, he would be lying through his teeth.

It was difficult to put a finger on it because so much potential existed. Perhaps it was that she never had a hair out of place or that the No-Life King bowed to her, both of these despite her age. The fact that at the age of twenty-three, her stare could floor the most hardened hero baffled him; that glare should have been forged in the fires of war and oceans of blood, not a prim British manor in the countryside.

“Something on your mind, Captain?” She brushed a strand of long, nearly white hair over her shoulder with a gloved hand as she took a drag off of the cigar clenched between her teeth and exhaled smoke.

“Kind of, Sir. I haven’t been in a library since my men had to hunker down in one when we were attacked by revolutionaries in Belize.” He shrugged. “I didn’t expect to be helping out with paperwork.”

“The Round Table is very strict in what goes in and out, which leads to most of what you see here in the basement archives.” She gestured at the room full of filing cabinets and special equipment for handling vintage books. “Some of these documents are very old, so one must be careful when handling them. We have alchemical texts dating back from the fifteenth century under lock and key here. I will admit, however, that having you down here to sort and go over your men’s’ files as we did earlier was not my only purpose.” She cleared her throat. “What are your intentions concerning Seras Victoria, Captain?”

“Eh? We’re just friends, Sir.”

“For now?”

“Yes, Sir.” He glanced from side to side clandestinely and lowered his voice. “To tell you the truth, I’m hoping for something more later on, but for now, we are what we are.”

“Romantic relations or merely someone to bed?” She crossed her arms and shifted to one foot.

“Bien sur que non!” Pip shook his head heatedly, somewhat offended. “She’s a good girl, not a whore; I’m not that heartless.” He paused and then added apologetically, “Sir. My grandparents raised me to treat women well; I wouldn’t have been able to sit down for a week if I so much as said boo to a girl. ”

“I’m glad to hear that; it gives me one less thing to worry about, though Alucard may need more convincing if you choose to reassure him and I would prefer not to hear that language again in my presence. He’s already spoken with his fledgling about it and other matters. Naturally, having a history of manipulating younger women with low self-esteem gives insight as to how and when others may do it and leaves a distinct paranoia of karma if a young ward with that trait comes under the former’s wing.”

Pip stifled a snicker, and then grew serious. “Sorry, Sir. I can see where that would be a problem. If I may ask, though, why were you concerned about my relationship with the mignonette in the first place?”

It took a moment for her to answer. “She is a member of Hellsing and under my protection, Captain; I would do the same for any employee.” However, not unlike her hired gun, Integral Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing was also capable of lying through her teeth.

The night of Cheddar, her cigar had snapped in two when Walter informed her of what had transpired. After she ordered him to make arrangements for the girl’s living quarters and have Alucard report to her when he returned, Integra had paced for ten minutes in front of the window, unable to believe his nerve. Who was he to do this, bring this girl into their lives without her permission or an explanation? She had never explicitly ordered him not to perform such an endeavor, but had not seen it coming at all.

If anything, she had felt an unexpected jealously. Alucard had been irrevocably and undeniably hers since that fatal day ten years ago in the basement. Without him and Walter, she had nothing. Was she not good enough for him anymore? What did he see in this girl that she didn’t have? Her hands clenched into fists, she glared at the moon, cursing whoever in the heavens or the nether abyss had seen to this.

She sensed his presence before he entered the room, shadows gathering on the wall as he materialized. Closing her eyes, the knight voiced a question that sounded much more anguished than she intended it to.


“Master…” Her vampire’s tone was a mix of surprise and concern as he moved towards her.

The slap rang out as her hand snaked up to meet his face, and its force shocked them both. Turning her head to the side so he wouldn’t see her wince, Integra cradled her aching right hand and sucked in air. She had meant to hit him and for it to hurt, but not so hard that her fingers and palm went numb.

“I deserved that,” Alucard said quietly, reaching up to touch the red mark with a gloved hand and wincing slightly. “Master, you must believe that I did not turn her for reasons of malicious intent.”

“Then for what reason?”

“She asked me to; it was her choice and I saw fit to grant her that request because she resisted the vampiric priest.”

“Did she know what she was asking?”

He shook his head. “Most likely not.”

“Then what possessed you to do it?”

There was a long pause before an answer. “I don’t know,” he confessed wearily as his eyes met hers, distant and unfocused. Surprised at the pain in his that matched her own, she held his gaze and they stood there in a somnolent silence until he broke it. Her pain was replaced by apprehension when he gripped the backs of her biceps gently and bent, his lips almost brushing her left ear. “She’s not you.”


Back in the present, Integra Hellsing blinked at her mercenary’s concern. “Forgive me, Captain.”

“What wonders are these? Is our lady Integral reminiscing?” Alucard loomed by one of the filing cabinets in a vaguely threatening way. After living with him for so long, she could tell what constituted as merely being intimidating and genuine menace. This was more a display of territory than anything else; no matter who the man was, Alucard trusted her with no one excepting Walter and even then, he was usually nearby.

She tsked and shook her head. “You’re incorrigible.”

“But you wouldn’t have me any other way.”

Integra ignored his response. “Did you get what I asked for?”

“They’re on your desk as we speak. Shall we?”

“Indeed.” She turned to Pip, who had either a remarkable talent for hiding discomfort or had become accustomed to the ways of Alucard very, very quickly. “Thank you for your help, Captain. Dismissed.” The two exited the room, the vampire pausing to hold the door for his master. Pip sighed and decided to go get a beer and quietly ponder the reason for the perpetually smoldering tension between the pair.

Bien sur que non- Of course not!
Hellsing: Integra, little black dress



"You have to be careful in our line of work," Michael Victoria had told his nine-year old daughter two days before his death, brushing the blond fringe out of her baby blue eyes and kissing her forehead. They never wanted her to be a police officer, but he did not discourage her. Every day, he would tell his family what he could about his day on the force and Seras would eagerly tell her father about the heroic adventures that they would have when they were working together to hunt down criminals.  He never had the heart to tell her that he would be retired by the time she became a policewoman, or so he thought.

"Police girl."

Snapped out of her reminiscing, the surprised draculina looked up at Alucard, shrinking slightly as he loomed over her.  "I need to speak with you a moment. Would you be so kind as to come with me?"

She swallowed and nodded, wondering whether this was about the other night.  She was almost sure that he had noticed her change in temper towards the captain and had a feeling that her master wouldn't be one to smile on relations between predator and prey. They did drink human blood, after all.

She blinked as white gloved fingers snapped in front of her face. "You're off tonight; you've been standing there for the past five minutes. Is your hunger impeding your ability to walk, fledgling?"

"I…I don't think so." Much to her relief, she found that statement to be true. "See, Master?"

"Then if you would." He began to walk towards the basement, Seras not far behind.  It did not take them long to reach it and Alucard's shadows opened the door for them. "Would you prefer that I get you a chair?"

"No, I don't mind sitting on the floor." She seated herself on the right side of the throne and hugged her knees to her. Noticing the childish pose and noting mentally to look into her files later, the vampire sat, looking down at her as he spoke.

"To be frank with you, police girl, your case is without precedent. Any of the vampires that I have encountered over the five and a half centuries that I've been this way would be dead by now. The fact that you have managed to survive and function this well without blood for this long period of time is nothing short of remarkable. I didn't have nearly as much self control when I was newly turned. Whether it's because you are my fledgling or strong willed is unknown, but this is nothing short of remarkable." He shook his head when she perked up. "This isn't something for you to be proud of. Denying what you are will and refusing to drink blood will only hurt you and others in the long run."


Alucard laughed. "Do you think me blind? Even a fool could see that the mercenary captain and you have realized that the other is a member of the opposite gender who is not an adversary."  

Her face flushed a dark red and she turned her head away. "Do you disapprove, Master?"

He reached down and caught her chin, forcing it upward. "Look at me when I'm talking to you," he chided gently. "No, it serves to drive my point home. If you refuse to drink, the risk of your attacking another person out of hunger increases. It would be best for everyone if you gave in to your instincts."

"But I've done well so far!"

"Yes, but that doesn't necessarily mean that it will continue. The odds are against you, police girl."

"Then I'll continue to defy them. The odds were against me in Cheddar, but I was the last one standing."

Alucard sighed. "Only my fledgling would be so stubborn as to completely disregard her master."

"I learned from the best." Seras regretted it as soon as it came out, covering her mouth with both hands in horror. Much to her surprise, her master chuckled instead of rebuking her. "So you do have a spine, Seras Victoria. It would be nice to see it more often. You'll think on what I've said, though, and eventually come around, but that's enough for tonight. It's almost five; time for you to be abed."

He stood and helped her up, walking her to the door. "Oh, one last thing."


"Should you decide to enter into a romantic relationship with the mercenary captain, I would suggest that it be kept private."  His expression was almost a smile. "You have to be careful in our line of work."
Hellsing: Integra, little black dress



Captain Pip Bernadotte had been separated from his men in battles before, usually with a partner, and gotten back fine. However, he had never been stuck in battle with a woman before, much less a pretty blonde vampire. They were currently holed up behind a thicket of trees, shooting at the ghouls that came too close for comfort.

“Captain, are you all right?” The worried voice of the vice captain crackled through Pip’s earpiece.

“Yeah, we’re good for now.” He watched Seras fire at an approaching one four yards away and carnage fly everywhere. “How’s your position? Any casualties yet? I’m not sure whether the boss could take the toxins out of you.”
“Fine. Something’s up with these things, though.”

“Yeah?” He fired his last bullet at a ghoul and reloaded. “Where did you hear that?”

“Well, you know the butler?”

Ouais, Walter.”

“I heard him and the boss talking and she said that usually the ghouls would be gone after the head vampire got offed, but that it wasn’t happening with the latest cases.”

“Maybe this one’s not dead yet; we’ve seen in the past week that Monsieur Alucard likes to play with his food.” He noticed a change in the frequency of shots that his partner was firing and stopped. “Hang on; I’ve got to take this. I’ll check back with you in a minute or two. Hang tight, vice captain. Over. ”

“Roger that, Captain. Over.” The earpiece crackled once more and went silent.

“What’s up with you, girlie? You look upset.” He shot five ghouls in the head in quick succession.

“Captain, have you not noticed the increasing number of reanimated corpses? I need to concentrate, not talk,” she grimaced, killing three more and then stopping to glare at him.
He caught one that came too close. “First things first, you can’t even think of calling yourself a soldier if you don’t learn to shoot and talk at the same time. Second, never take your eyes off the enemy.”

“I’m looking at him right now,” she grumbled halfheartedly under her breath as both of them reloaded.

After they finished off the particularly thick wave of ghouls, the comment struck her as rather ungrateful. Though her memories of last night were foggy, she remembered the captain catching her and ensuring that her master was found before things took a turn for the worse. Her expression turned instantly morose. “Captain?”

“Yeah?” He noticed her face and grinned. “Bon Dieu, who died?”

It was a terrible joke, but they laughed hard in spite of it. Panting slightly from the laughter and feeling better than she had in a long time, Seras couldn’t help but return the smile. “Captain, you’re awful.”

“It’s one of my many talents.” Pip glanced back out at the empty field. “Looks like your master got to the head.” A final, ear-piercing scream shrilled from a distance and he winced in a manner that didn't exactly scream heroic.. “I didn’t know that banshees existed.”

“Baobhan siths, actually, though they are similar,” Seras replied, her eyes closed. “Particularly hungry ones; that’s why there were so many ghouls. They don’t usually come out of the mountains unless they’re desperate.” She blushed when he looked at her in amazement. “Master just told me.”

“In your mind?”

“Er, yes. Just now. He’ll be here in five minutes to take me back.” She exhaled. “We don’t want last night to happen again. Thank you for helping me last night, Captain. I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you until now.”

Pip’s expression grew serious. “It was nothing, and if it helps,” he rubbed the back of his head and sighed, “I’m sorry about the range yesterday. I’d like to be your friend, girlie. It seems to me that you could use one.”

“Really?” Her eyes brightened and then dulled. “Wait. If you think that you’re going to—“

“I don’t.” His eye met hers . “I can’t promise that I’ll be an angel, but I won’t try to get under your skirt. Je te jure ça.”

The draculina’s posture straightened and she smiled for the first time that evening. “Thank you, Captain. I’ll see you tomorrow!” Shouldering the immense gun as if it weighed nothing, she ran toward her waiting master with a spring in her step. The latter raised an eyebrow at the mercenary, but let the matter lie as he began to walk into the distance, his elated fledgling following close behind.

*Je te jure ca-I promise/swear to you that.
Hellsing: Integra, little black dress

FilledeMarius-Theme#2-Fall From Grace

Fall from Grace

Seras Victoria sighed, staring morosely up at the stars. Her master enjoyed nights like this, which was why he was currently out on a mission and she was left to contemplate her current affairs on the back steps of the mansion.

“You need some time to think, police girl,” Integra had told her not unkindly after giving her a cursory once-over when they were called into her office to be briefed. Though she gave no reason why, Seras’s bloodlust was ever the elephant in the room. It shamed her, knowing that the lady knight would never look at her the same way again. She wondered if that was why her limbs felt so heavy.

It had taken less than two weeks for Seras Victoria to go from a bright young woman with a promising career to a blood-sucking nosferatu who was expected to kill and did so on a nightly basis. She was no ordinary police officer, as Walter had pointed out to her the other day; D-11 was one of the only units in the United Kingdom that was allowed to handle firearms. However, she had been on her mandatory two year period of probation given to all the recruits, as well as her colleagues Eddie Robinson and Simon Morris. Walter, with Sir Integra’s blessing, had felt that it was his duty to inform her of the actual details of the situation that had lead to her death.

“You should not have been sent in there, Miss Victoria, nor your coworkers. It was an accident. Considering your father’s prowess in the force, I would have expected them to look after you better.”
The police force was currently under investigation for charges of corruption, bribery, and reckless endangerment. He had assured her that if there was a settlement paid to the families of the dead, he would see to it that the money became hers.

She felt that her master Alucard understood the situation more than he let on, seeing as that he had offered his blood and freedom to her that night in Badrick, but he appeared to be much less sympathetic than the butler and her boss. “You chose the night; there’s no turning back in the light of day.” In truth, she herself was not sure why she could not bring herself to drink blood; she knew that it was unhealthy to continue on like this, but straddling the line between human and monster was a slippery slope and she had little to no faith in her ability to keep herself from falling into the abyss.

Kohlberg would have a field day with this, she thought deprecatingly as she stood, feeling her master’s presence on the border of the manor and deciding to talk with him about her dilemma in earnest. At least, she tried to.

Pip Bernadotte, a few feet away, had been watching the draculina out of the corner of his eye as he chatted with the men. He felt a bit bad for her; they had not exactly acted like heroes or gentlemen yesterday and though the Wild Geese were rough around the edges, they prided themselves on being somewhat chivalrous, seeing as about half of them were French or from a French-speaking country. Adjusting his hat surreptitiously, he began to walk over to her as she stood up and broke into a run when she stumbled and fell.

Seras was vaguely aware of a descending sensation when strong arms caught her around the waist and her head was caught gently against something hard but warm. She blinked slowly, getting her bearings.

“You all right, girlie?” Something soft brushed the side of her face. She opened her eyes to see the concerned mercenary captain holding her, his brunette braid against her cheek. The blush spread quickly when she realized the position they were in, her head pillowed against his shoulder. “Captain…”

“You don’t have to talk if you can’t.” He experimentally shifted her position on him and tightened his grip on her when she staggered again, never taking his green eye off of her. “Can you focus for me?”

She nodded gingerly and fixed her eyes on his light orange scarf. “Bien.” His breath smelled of cigarettes and beer. “I’m not sure what’s wrong with you, mignonette; you haven’t moved since midnight.” Nervously, he glanced over at his men who were watching and ordered, “Someone go get her master.”

“No need.” How a six foot man in red had managed to blend into the darkness Pip would never know, but he stepped out of the background and went to them quickly. “Turn her towards me, Captain.”

Carefully propping her up as he moved, the mercenary managed to get the fledgling to a somewhat standing pose. “Look at me, draculina.” Seras obeyed the best that she could and he carefully cupped her chin with one hand as he examined her eyes. “Hmmm. As I thought. Dawn comes in two hours.”

“What does that mean?” She asked, trying to stand and failing for a third time. Before she could go far, Alucard caught her under the arms and Pip grabbed her waist, both men hauling her upright promptly.

“Don’t move again, lest you fall a fourth time. Your body can sense that the sun is coming and wants to sleep. Because you refuse to take blood, it is tricked into feeling it earlier than it should and renders you barely mobile. Also, you have never been out this late; we’ve made sure to get you inside at least two hours before the sun rises.”

“So, how can she get better?”

“Sleep.” He bent forward slightly. “Put your arms around my neck, police girl. You, support her.”

Seras, though shaking, managed to wrap her limbs around him as his arm went around her back; the captain held her hips as the elder vampire hooked the other under the fledgling’s knees and swept her up, carefully adjusting her so that her head would not loll. “Thank you, Captain. I’ll take it from here.”

“Will she be all right?”

“By tomorrow, yes,” he said over his shoulder as he began to ascend the steps, leaving the Frenchman alone with his thoughts.

After blinking blearily a few times, the girl was out like a light. When they reached her room, Alucard concentrated on the coffin and his shadows sprung out from under his boots and opened the lid. He carefully laid her sleeping form down upon the lining and sighed heavily as he regarded the former.

“What am I to do with you, Seras Victoria?”


Previous: filledemarius.livejournal.com/1275.html
Next: filledemarius.livejournal.com/1747.html
Hellsing: Integra, little black dress


Fandom: Hellsing
Pairing: Pip Bernadotte x Seras Victoria
Theme List: Beta-Hero

Next: filledemarius.livejournal.com/1458.html


‘I don’t know how to put this, so I’ll give it to you straight. Our job’s monster hunting.”

It was an unusual job, but they were in an unusual situation. They had lost quite a few of their numbers, including their vice captain, in the slums of Uganda.  The morale among his men low, Captain Pip Bernadette had decided to get them back to Europe, where most of them were from. Hell, maybe he could even go back to France and visit the cemetery where most of his family was buried.  They had been in South America so long that they had nearly forgotten how to speak English, much less French.

Needless to say, his men did not believe what he told them and laughed. “Quit shitting us!”

“It’s true.” Though the voice of the woman whom the butler had said was his boss spoke in a normal tone of voice, it carried well and the men turned to listen. “Your enemy is a vampire who gains immortality by drinking blood. Our job is to carry around garlic and holy water, put a wooden stake in its heart, chop off its head, burn its corpse, and sprinkle its ashes at the crossroads.  For more information, consult Bram Stoker.”

The Geese were even more incredulous than before as she informed them precisely why they did not know and of the origins of her organization.  “If you still don’t get it, then take a good look for yourselves! That is your enemy, a vampire.” She gestured toward the room’s right wall. 

“What?” Pip blinked a few times before he could believe what he was seeing. A girl no more than nineteen years old was leaning against the wall with an awkward smile on her face. Her spiky blonde pigtails and bangs framed her wide blue eyes. The skin-tight yellow uniform hugged her body, as did the white, thigh high stockings that disappeared into black ankle boots.  She shifted awkwardly from one foot to the other.

He got up from the chair and walked over to her. “Hold on a sec. You’re a vampire?”

“Yes, well… I guess I am.”

For the second time that day, the men burst into laughter.  The apparently mortified vampire pointed a shaking finger, muttering “I…I knew they were going to laugh. Like I said before.”

“Then give them a demonstration, police girl,” the other woman said.

“R-Roger!”  She snapped to attention and saluted. “Go ahead, sir!”

Pip now joined his men in their mirth. “If this little mignonette is a vampire, than I’m Frankenstein’s monster!” As he went to grab her, he did not see her eyes narrow or the finger that seemed to come out of nowhere and send him flying.

Blood ran out of his nose as she continued to flick him backwards harder and harder until he hit the ground.  The vice captain pushed his way through the crowd. “C-C-Captain!”

“She’s a monster!  I didn’t see it coming, not even a sign! She just poked me in the forehead and my whole head’s swimming! “He reached up reflexively to adjust his bush hat. “Is she really a vampire?”

“She really is,” rumbled a deep baritone from behind the soldiers.  Much to their horror, various body parts of a man in a large red fedora, gold sunglasses, and Victorian dress were coming through the room’s left wall. “Though she may be the lowest of the low, she’s still a card carrying vampire.” The Wild Geese shrank back and uttered cries of alarm as one.   

“Cowardly bunch.” He finished materializing and stood at his full height. “You think we can use these people?”

Just then, the butler that had shown them in earlier appeared at the doorway and addressed their boss. “My apologies, Miss. I tried to stop him but—“

The former cut him off. “These men will be guarding my master. I wanted to see who they were.”

When the retainer gave the lady knight a letter and the focus was taken off of them, Pip pondered their state of affairs and decided that it had gone from unusual to just plain bizarre. Whether this organization was as heroic as it claimed to be remained to be seen.

Ce n’est pas notre travail habituel, he mused to himself. Mais , c’est le seul travail que nous avons.*


*It’s not our usual job, but it’s the only one we’ve got.

Hellsing: Integra, little black dress

Why the hate, Hellsing fandom?

Hello, everyone. I hope that you are well in whatever time period that you are currently in. Currently, I have become rather distressed on a rather large divide that I've been seeing in the Hellsing fandom, most recently on DeviantArt. I spend a fair amount of time on there and recently, a good friend of mine posted a commission for another user,  an artwork of Alucard and Integra in a sexy pose. Within a day, they were relentlessly spammed and insulted by users who despised the pairing of AlucardxIntegra. My friend had to disable comments on the artwork due to such vitriolic actions. Earlier in the year, another artist was criticized when she posted a painting of Alucard and Integra dancing the tango because it was not "in character".  I followed the critic's link to their profile and to a group called "Anti AxI". For their webcam, someone had taken a panel of Integra from the Hellsing manga and a picture from the famed Japanese fansite, Solid&Etc. They had labeled the scan from the manga as "This is Integra Hellsing" and the Solid&Etc work as "This is a slut". There were comments praising the webcam and complaining about poetic license. Though I haven't seen hostility towards AxS to the same degree,  I have read a few comments that have criticized the character of Seras, just as I have read some that criticized the character of Integra. From an AxI fan who commented on the comment of an AxI hater, I saw a poorly typed, misspelled response telling the critic to "STFU!!!!!"

Now, I'm not going to argue for the case of either pairing, because other fans before me have done a splendid job of it and I would just be reiterating their arguments. I'm not going to argue that you should like either pairing because it is canon, either; it is your right to dislike canon if you choose to, and there's nothing I can do about it.  (AN: I'm talking about both the OVA/Mangaverse and Gonzoverse here.)

However, there is no excuse to criticize an artist for drawing something that you do not like. To insult them is not only immature; it's also a reflection of how you treat others and anyone who sees you will judge you for those comments. If you don't like the picture, simply move on and don't comment. It's not that hard. There is also no need to flame someone just because they flamed you first. Responding civilly and logically is the adult thing to do and it shows that you are the better person because of it.

I don't understand why some Hellsing fans hate on each other; it takes away from the real subject, which is just how wonderful and engaging Hellsing is. Whether we were brought in by the characters or the animation or the plot, we can all agree that Hellsing is an epic win at the end of the day, pairings or not.